Why Computers Are Like Men/Women

Why computers are like men:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

Why computers are like women:

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

You Know You're A Geek... When:

You know you're a geek when:

• You go online and order a New Motherboard by 2nd day air, and the store you ordered from is only 2 miles from your house.

• You wonder if you can set my laser printer on stun.

• You try to enter your password on the microwave.

• You consider three espressos as "getting wasted."

• You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.

• You have a list of 15 ways of commutation to reach your family of 3.

* Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.

• You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.

• You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your email buddies via social media site.

• The concept of using real money, instead of internet shopping, to make a purchase is foreign to you.

• Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags your computer desk.

• Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses or Facebook accounts.

• You consider 2nd day air delivery painfully slow.

• Your idea of being organized is keeping 'My Documents' de-fraged.

• You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.

• You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.

• You hear most of your jokes via email or facebook instead of in person.

• You've made your family pics into icons so you can spend time with them.

• Your web-browser bookmarks takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

• Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

• You have thought up about 100 smiles more clever than =(8^)

• Co-workers have to message you about the fire alarm to get you out of the building.

• Every night you tell yourself you will not eat tomorrows meals with a fork in one hand and a mouse in the other.

• You turn off your computer and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

• You see a good web design and still have to change it.

•  You feel sea-sick and light headed when you finally take those reading glasses off and try to stand up..

• You dream in HTML.

•  You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

• You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

• Your holiday was ruined… there was no internet café in town.

• You take lunch in your office snacking with your chat friends.

• You find you can still get butterflies in your stomach ... the thought of seeing your computer again after your holiday/vacation.

• You have prayers said every time your PC or electronic device dies.

• You ask your doctor to implant a gigabyte in your brain.

• You dream of coming back as a cyborg.

• You're amazed to find out spam is a food.

• You've sat 2 inches in front of your screen with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors.

• You've spent consecutive Thursday, Friday and Saturday evenings programming a computer.

• You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two or three, just for the free Internet access.

• You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting.

• You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.

• The salespeople at Circuit City or Best Buy can't answer any of your questions.

• Your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone.

• You're replaced your wristwatch with a smart device/phone.

• You can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary.

• Your spouse sends you an e-mail or chat message instead of calling you to dinner.

• You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.

• Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch.

• As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.

• In college, you coded your homework in HTML and give your teacher the URL.

• You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

• You check your e-mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

• Your dog & cat have their own home pages and the goldfish's is under construction.

• You think people who can't set the clock on the VCR are pathetic!

The Great Debate: Geek vs. Nerd

In honor of GEEK DAY, here it is... my take on the Geek vs. Nerd debate.

What am I? Well, I'm definitely one of the two... But there is some controversy on the difference between the two words. After doing some research, and reading some pretty heated discussions on other blogs, it seems that depending on what were you live, the definitions are interchangeable. But I'm here to clear that up!

There are actually three names that can (and are) often used as derogatory terms or type of stereotype in reference to person who obsessively pursues intellectual interests for ones own self. It also includes the thought that one is inept to adapt to society as a whole... Does that make sense?

The three terms are:

• Geek
• Nerd
• Dork

So permit me, if you will, to define those words as I see them.

Geek:
Smart, fact loving person, who tries to keep up with society, but mostly on a factual basis. A pleasure to hang out with, overflowing with fun, often useless facts. Uses his knowledge and technology to help those around him. Friendly, open to suggestions and ideas, always willing to learn and share knowledge. Any person who pursues a passionate interest in something in a way that places him or her outside the mainstream. This could be due to the intensity, depth, or subject of their interest.

Nerd:
Similar to a geek, knows what he's talking about, but thinks that no one else can be on his level. Often has a snobbish, self-centered, and authoritative attitude. Will engage in deep discussion, but doesn't listen to reason, and never changes stance on an issue. Can be engrossed in his or her area of interest at the cost of social skills, personal hygiene, and status.

Dork:
A quirky, silly and/or stupid, socially inept person, or one who is out of touch with contemporary trends. Often confused with nerd and geek, but does not imply the same intelligence level. A geek wanna-be! Occasionally knows enough to pass, but this knowledge can be dangerous.

Dweeb:
Everyone else! lol!




~Matt




PS.   At 9am, I'll be publish a list of "You know you're a GEEK when..."

Tomorrow... GEEK DAY!

Just a reminder...

Tomorrow is GEEK DAY. Expect a few posts from me, including "The Great Debate: Geek vs. Nerd", my definitions of each term!

If you don't follow me on twitter, or friends with on facebook, you're going to miss out. All posts will be "geek" themed! So all others, be forewarned.... ;)

It's gonna be a good day!