You know you're a Baptist when…

Please don't get offended! I found these to be funny and mostly true! lol



You know you're a Baptist when…


You make use of all of your Bibles... one for home, one for devotions, one to keep at Church, one for the car, one for your purse (or shirt pocket if you are a guy) ,,,

Every anniversary, special meeting and conference is celebrated with a Church potluck!

You always seem to sit in the back of the church

Your pastor always goes to the back of the church at the end of the service where you can shake his hand

You need a cup of coffee before the morning service

You will park wherever there is a spot in the church parking lot

You actually want to attend Sunday school

Your church supports a lot of missionaries

Your church has missions conferences

Your church actually has a choir

Your church enjoys the 3 F's: Food, Fun, and Fellowship

You Consider Sunday lunch part of the service

You feel guilty about throwing the bulletins away

More adults sit on the front row during a children's choir concert, than do on Sunday morning

You feel the urge to say "amen" after every song- even at the Children's Choir Concert

You have never sung the third verse of any hymn.

You met your spouse at camp

Your preacher has a "Fried Chicken Belly"

Your Church's Sanctuary or Choir room smells like old books

When you were little you were afraid of one of the deacons.

You know that the words "we've never done it that way before" are the death toll to any new idea.

You know how to pledge allegiance to the Christian Flag & the Bible.

You hear "Just as I Am", "Create in me a clean heart", or any of those hymns and instantly stand up because you think it is decision time.

Your church had a Fish Fry/ Lord's Supper/ Baptismal service.

You have ever been given, or given to someone the "Right hand of Christian Fellowship"

You’re positive your preacher's books include: "1001 Illustrations" , "Greatest Collection of Church Jokes", etc.

Everything you know about illnesses & surgeries you learned in Wednesday prayer meeting.

You think God's presence is strongest on the back three pews.

You think "Amazing Grace" is the national anthem.

You honestly believe that the Apostle Paul spoke King James English.

You judge the quality of a service by its length.

You ever wake up in the middle of the night craving fried chicken and interpret that feeling as a call to preach.

You see that it's 12:05 when the invitation starts and get excited b/c you're getting out early that day.

Your church moves the Sunday evening service up two hours so they can watch the Super Bowl on the projectors.

You wonder whether you'll be singing or skipping the second to last verse in the hymnal.

Sitting in a different seat is considered “leaving your comfort zone.”

If you can't remember when you first memorized John 3:16

You consider "Victory In Jesus" the Baptist fight song.

You went directly from attending VBS to teaching it.

Your entire summer calendar revolves around church camp and VBS

You hear about a church fight, you say, "So, where's the news?"

You know at least a dozen funny things that happened during baptismal services.

You complain about the pastor's long sermons, but you would feel cheated by one under 20 minutes.

You don't like fancy, written-out public prayers, but somebody ought to help your preacher and the deacons put a little more life and freshness and thought into theirs!

You wish they wouldn't make all those announcements in the church service, but the times when they don't, you get angry because you didn't know about an important meeting.