In "Awe"

On Sunday, Pastor talked about the word "awe". This one word can mean so much. It can mean being in a state of amazement, wonder and astonishment, but also a state of bewilderment or shock. It can also be of fear, both good or bad. He then asked if we had ever trembled in fear.

That thought caused me to pause.

Boy, I had to think for a minute on that one. Trembled in fear? I knew that I had, but when?

Then it struck me... I remembered. It was a year ago. I was brought into the boss' office at work and told my position was terminated. I was no longer had employment with the company I had worked 8+ years for!

But the "fear" didn't really hit until I was driving home. You see, the whole time I was gathering my stuff I was more in a state shock or bewilderment. I put my things in the trunk and got behind the wheel. I then called Lydia from my cell. I told her what happened and that I was on the way home.

It was after that call that the realization of the situation hit. Things began to put them selves together, and the entire drive homeward horrible... even though the transit only took 8 minutes! I was trembling! My hands were grasped tightly around steering wheel so I could focus on getting home in one piece. I was in "awe"...literally quivering in fear. And it wasn't going be the last time during that day.

Why? What was causing my body to shake? It was the thought and realization that I did not know how we were going to make it, or what things were going come into play. I was jobless. No way to make income. The only comforting thought at the time was the fact that Lydia babysat. So I was thankful for that. But that was short lived.

Little did I know at that time that the mother of the child Lydia babysat was being laid off as well! Boy, what a hard evening that was! Within one hour, all of our income was taken away. I was almost afraid of answering the door! I didn't want to be a modern day Job, no one would!

But things worked out. Lydia was able to work at H&R Block with many hours, and after a while, I was rehired with my employer (howbeit, at a lower position.

I'm happy to say that even though it's been a hard year, God has taken care of us, and even though we don't understand it all...  It has provided us with knowledge not to trust our situation, but the One who holds the situation.

Now I'm in another "awe"... as He supplies our needs. Perhaps not how we'd like to see it, but it's in His hands! We'll see what He has in store for us now!

~Matt